Review: Florian is not over by Mirjam Louwen-van Bekkum

It often happens that I read a book in a weekend. But with so many tears in my eyes, that doesn’t happen often. The book Florian is not over touched me.

Not because it is recognizable, but you feel the fear, hope and despair of the writer.

The loss of a child

I myself did not follow Mirjam Louwen-van Bekkum on twitter, but I often saw her messages. When I saw the words Hirschsprung’s disease in a tweet, I was immediately drawn to this. My children have Hirschsprung’s disease and then you quickly tend to want to know what someone else is writing about this. In Mirjam’s tweets I read that her husband and said were parents of four children, including twins.

The boy of these twins, Florian, was born with Down Syndrome, had an open ductus and Hirschsprung’s disease. At one point I also read that Florian had passed away. When I recently received a press release about the book, I wanted to read the story, Florian’s story is not over.

Florian is not over

What if you suddenly had twins a few years after the birth of two healthy children? If it turns out that one of the two has Down’s Syndrome? What if he suddenly becomes very ill? If he dies? What if you suddenly have to arrange a funeral?

What if you suddenly find yourself a grieving mother?

It happened to Mirjam Louwen-Van Bekkum (35). In Florian is not over she writes about the year 2018, in which she can hold her son Florian in her arms, but also have to let go. In Florian is not over, Mirjam is candid about her grief and feelings of guilt, about the sweet but often shocking reactions of outsiders, about how her young children deal with the death of their brother and about how Florian still gets a beautiful and honorable place in her family. family.

A book that makes you think

Mirjam’s pregnancy actually starts with obstacles, she is extremely ill during the pregnancy and falls down a flight of stairs. After the joy of the twins’ birth, they soon find themselves in a merry-go-round of emotions. What Mirjam, her husband and children are going through is extremely difficult and because they are so strong together, they make it.

Little dots of recognition

Sometimes there are small fragments in the book that I recognize, although of course I don’t recognize the pain and the fears at all and my situation is nothing compared to what they are going through. Yet it is precisely those little things that I recognize, which bring me into tears while reading. Feelings of guilt to her other children when she is with her son in the hospital. Having to get out of bed immediately after birth because your child is in the hospital.

Driving to the hospital every day, with your recently giving birth. The Hirschsprung. The powerlessness, rinsing.

This rinsing is not over after the operation, as indicated in the book. Even after the operation there are many children and adults with Hirschsprung who have to keep flushing all their lives.

Mirjam’s powerlessness

The powerlessness that Mirjam describes, but also the moment of death of Florian and the funeral that must then be arranged. Are incredibly moving. Mirjam converts an immense sorrow into a hopeful future and of course the grief is never over. She does describe how they deal with this, but also how people can react. Then after Florian was born, but also now, how she and her family deal with the loss and grief.

This is probably what scared me the most. People’s reactions. Even now on the fact that Mirjam has written a book.

I can’t say for whom this book is highly recommended. Is it for mothers with children with Down syndrome, mothers who recognize things or not. I don’t know, you have to judge for yourself.

In any case, it is a book written by a mother and writer, who would do anything for her children and who shows how you can turn sadness into a hopeful future.